disclaimer: i will cuss a lot now. because i am angry.
i am a very pissed midget, as you can tell. the explanation for those of you who weren't there:
i divide up the people who take japanese I into two groups. the minority take it because they want to learn japanese. the majority take it because it's a crap-class (my term for a class they take just to fill up a slot in their schedules). people in the latter classification never give a shit about the class, so they are always the most disruptive and disrespectful and downright irritating. my problem was with one of the people in this group.
of the idiot brigade this semester, this guy is one of the noisiest. he's been on my nerves since the first day. he never shuts up. he badmouths sensei (under his breath, which is why sensei hasn't caught him yet) and is generally an ass all period long. today was no different.
he and his fellow buttfaces were kicking up a racket as usual. sensei was yelling "shizukani! shizukani!" at them, but of course they didn't really know what she was trying to say so they didn't listen. i heard one of them ask (loudly) "what's that mean?" it came from behind me so i assumed it was the particular asshole aforementioned, since he'd been relocated to the corner of the room by sensei.
by now, i'd had it up to here with them. i'd had enough of it. so i turned around and told the guy that it means shut the hell up. of course, the self-absorbed ass had to turn it into an argument, and he demanded why i was talking to him like that. i replied that i'm talking to him like that because he won't shut the hell up. the ijjit started muttering indignantly, but by then my short burst of temper had faded enough for me to regain control of my tongue, so i ground my teeth and didn't respond.
sensei pushed the button, and asked for an administrator to come down and talk to some of her students who were arguing. hearing the plural just made my temper worse. i'd said nothing but the truth, why get me in trouble? i could understand her reasoning for involving both squabblers, but it still didn't help how irritated i was. so a minute or two later, Suratt (can't spell his name for the life of me) pokes his head in, and sensei calls me and assbreath up there to have a word with Suratt.
i admitted that it was wrong of me to have lost my temper like that, but i lost it for good reason, because buttface and his cronies won't shut up. Suratt asked assbreath why he wouldn't be quiet after sensei kept telling him, which only elicited some half-intelligible mutters. Suratt left after warning us to not raise our voices, and the last twenty minutes of class went by pretty much as normal.
okay. i know why sensei got me involved too, but what was my fault besides giving that asshole a taste of his own medicine? he's been nothing but disrespectful since the beginning, it's about time he got bitched at back. it's his problem if he is too childish to leave it at that. true, i didn't necessarily have to yell, but that's the only thing ijjits like that really listen to. he more than deserved to get someone giving as much snark as they get. sensei has told him to sit outside once before, and i really hope (though i doubt) that she'll do anything worse to the ass. he was the one at fault, i was only speaking the truth. not my fault he got his inflated ego hurt.
i don't regret snapping like that. it didn't make me feel even a little bit better, not on any level, but i don't wish i hadn't said what i did. i won't say i'd do it again, because i'd get ISS and i don't intend on explaining three days of ISS to the admissions folks at UNCA.
you peeps who know me know that i'm not at all the type to lose my temper. or if i do, i usually keep it to myself. that little outburst did nothing to alleviate my irritation -- being called out made it worse if anything. but i'm sorry, when people are being goddamned assholes, there's only so many times i can sit there and keep my mouth shut. as tolerant as i am, even i have a threshold.
so. i'm going to do something mindless for the rest of the day to readjust my attitude.
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the random everyday chaos experienced by a young person in the twenty-first century
3 comments:
The following comment may not be appropriate for someone who's irritated to hear. Just my own warning.
As much as I was pleased about you getting that idiot to shut up, I have to ask you just one thing. What did you accomplish? Not a thing. You blew up at him, and he was pretty much quiet for the rest of the day, yes. But then sensei called Suratt, which got you both in trouble. Plus, he was right back to his old antics the next day. On top of that, it didn't solve the problem of the other loudmouths in the class. So the answer is: not a thing.
There are times to get angry to fix a problem, there are times to not. This was the latter. Listen, in order to put up with all the stupidity of the world, you have to learn to let it all go right by you. Similar consequences will follow outbursts like this, even warranted ones, in post-education life. Learn to deal, and not just by receding into a shell, or grinding your teeth, or anything of the sort. These people are all around you, hence why the world is so screwed up. You won't like these next words, but they are needed... Learn to deal.
Very sorry for the harsh post. You know I love you, so please don't hurt me... T_T
I really don't know whether to give you a thumbs up and take you out for pizza or shake my finger at you. My gut tells me to do the former, because you did what I never had the courage to do in my high school days. I never had the balls to stand up to the people that were talking smack about other people or disrupting class because I was too scared I'd get in trouble. But I think as long as you realize what you did wouldn't make you feel better and really wouldn't solve the pissant problem, then I think you don't really need a slap on the wrist. I hope things are better now, though. Or at least you've moved across the classroom from the Douchie McDouches.
<3
wow. Although well past high school, I totally identify. It happens at school, in the movies, at my daughter's choir concert. The rude and self centered don't care a whit about anyone around them.
While standing up for yourself and venting your outrage lends slight vindication, I have found that I still feel irritated and thwarted bc the behavior will still persist. *sigh*
It may fall on deaf ears, but you could try filing a complaint with the Vice Principle against the grievous parties. Maybe you can remain anonymous?
Otherwise, when they begin to rankle your twitching raw nerves, take a deep breath, find your center, and smile as if they aren't there. Generally, they only have as much power as we give them. (of course there are those
sociopathic megalomaniacs, ie. Hitler, who need heavy handed action taken all over their asinine plans.)
Best of Luck
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